Whether it is an almond-stuffed olive, a slice of cheese, a sweet potato chip or a sautéed mushroom, it is important to utter the appropriate "yoikes!" when stealing tidbits from ones spouse. Really, it makes it all okay.
In case you have not been engaging in this behaviour (in which case, are you even human?!), let me just tell you that nothing tastes so good as the pilfered bite.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Monday, August 5, 2013
Sunday, August 4, 2013
The botanist
"Sweet girl, your Esther" is what the child's teachers would almost invariably begin with. From there the teacher/parent meetings would continue on a path of both flattery & frustration. After all, what were they to do? The child would always hand in work. Her pieces were so far afield from the lessons though as to completely confuse the entire effort. The numbers in her maths would frequently turn into stick men wielding x's & ÷'s; nearly illegible writing assignments would go on for pages. Worst of all, in class she would just stare off into space with those big, sad eyes.
Mrs McCreary wondered if the girl was perhaps slightly autistic. She was slightly something, that's for sure. There were plenty of children, over the many years teaching third grade, that had been different or difficult to connect with. Esther was beyond strange though. It was like encountering an old person who was looking back on life rather than just jumping into it. Maybe the parents had cursed her with that name. Maybe they just had some strange insight. In any case, the antiquated monicker fit the child perfectly.
***
Phoebe, Zara & Carly had been best friends since pretty much before they were born. Their parents all belonged to the Green Meadows club. That meant that they also all lived nearby & spent almost every weekend together. Phoebe was born 2 months too far behind to get into the same grade as her pals -something she'd never forgive her parents for.
Sometimes "ZaC" would gang up on her a bit. Three is always a tricky grouping - even more so amongst little girls - even, even more so when two of them morph into one. When Phoebe was on the outs, she would often end up hanging around with Esther. She wasn't the only one.
Certainly, if asked, the other children would never admit to liking the strange girl. On the other hand, Esther was hardly ever alone & had a real knack of disrupting all order. One time, she and Phoebe came in after lunch with torn tights, scuffed shoes and leaves in their hair. What a mess! Best to leave that to the parents.
By the end of the week, half the class came in caked in mud and KJ was soaked up to his knees. Of course, even with chattering teeth, he was giggling like a nutter.
When the truth was finally pumped out of them, it turned out that Esther had led them down the garden path (literally), across a brook and into the woods beyond school property. Apparently, they'd found an old shed full of junk and were working on making the perfect fort. After apologies to parents and a closer eye kept on during recess, the off campus adventures ended.
However, this just inspired greater creativity on the playground. Running out to a cacophony of howls and Hoots, the teachers found children had climbed up into every tree, wall & structure they could find. Zara was impossibly dangling by one arm off the basketball hoop! Esther sat still on the curb. When she looked up and quietly stated "they are my monkeys" Mrs M wondered less if she was borderline autistic than borderline psychopath.
***
Mrs McCreary wondered if the girl was perhaps slightly autistic. She was slightly something, that's for sure. There were plenty of children, over the many years teaching third grade, that had been different or difficult to connect with. Esther was beyond strange though. It was like encountering an old person who was looking back on life rather than just jumping into it. Maybe the parents had cursed her with that name. Maybe they just had some strange insight. In any case, the antiquated monicker fit the child perfectly.
***
Phoebe, Zara & Carly had been best friends since pretty much before they were born. Their parents all belonged to the Green Meadows club. That meant that they also all lived nearby & spent almost every weekend together. Phoebe was born 2 months too far behind to get into the same grade as her pals -something she'd never forgive her parents for.
Sometimes "ZaC" would gang up on her a bit. Three is always a tricky grouping - even more so amongst little girls - even, even more so when two of them morph into one. When Phoebe was on the outs, she would often end up hanging around with Esther. She wasn't the only one.
Certainly, if asked, the other children would never admit to liking the strange girl. On the other hand, Esther was hardly ever alone & had a real knack of disrupting all order. One time, she and Phoebe came in after lunch with torn tights, scuffed shoes and leaves in their hair. What a mess! Best to leave that to the parents.
By the end of the week, half the class came in caked in mud and KJ was soaked up to his knees. Of course, even with chattering teeth, he was giggling like a nutter.
When the truth was finally pumped out of them, it turned out that Esther had led them down the garden path (literally), across a brook and into the woods beyond school property. Apparently, they'd found an old shed full of junk and were working on making the perfect fort. After apologies to parents and a closer eye kept on during recess, the off campus adventures ended.
However, this just inspired greater creativity on the playground. Running out to a cacophony of howls and Hoots, the teachers found children had climbed up into every tree, wall & structure they could find. Zara was impossibly dangling by one arm off the basketball hoop! Esther sat still on the curb. When she looked up and quietly stated "they are my monkeys" Mrs M wondered less if she was borderline autistic than borderline psychopath.
***
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