So, we are about to turn 11. Once again, I am slinking off and not celebrating with proper vivre. How many anniversaries does this make in which I have disappeared? Well, let's just say more than 3 & less than 8. How many has Mr been absent for? That's right, check out that big ole goose egg.
This is the man who abstains from events and holidays like they are plague-ridden. He sneers at Santa and eschews the Easter Bunny. This is the guy who would rather be on the road for 12 hours with a work trip than celebrate his own birthday. Never, ever, ever misses an anniversary or my birthday though.
Lest I sound bitter, let me mention that with less sacred days, it seems to make those celebrations we do have all the more special. It is something to know that wherever one goes, one is loved. It is something to know that one can go and it is not resented. This is certainly a lucky girl.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
What do you mean home?
I live here now.
No, I don't want to leave. What kind of a question is that?
What do you mean "It's not a question"
No, I don't want to leave. What kind of a question is that?
What do you mean "It's not a question"
Summer drink recipe
Ice. Half & half mix of lemonade & orange juice. Add Absolut Mango to taste.
Seriously tasty - I mean it. Go make it now.
Seriously tasty - I mean it. Go make it now.
My fellow human
I salute you. You who would put a doll head on a pole and then drive around with it stuck out your window.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Stasis
Oooohhh, do I know how to waste time. You would not believe the way this one can lolly-gag. Watching paint dry is a bad thing since when?
So, all this interconnected computer stuffs is just friggin purrrrrfect fodder for my voodoo. Anyhow, coming across all these fellow dingbats from life's travels is great! Or maybe it's an evil waste? Maybe it's both.
I have to admit to immensely enjoying all the little meaningless tidbits everyone shares. It's like the easiest part of a lifetime of friendships without any of the real work. If someone starts to demand attention or get weird, how quickly and simply they can be excised from daily interaction.
All the time I used to waste on the telly can now be channeled to a whole new meaningless endeavor. We got rid of the tv for this very reason. Maybe Mr will chuck out my computer soon too! In any case, you all can reach me on my 10-yr-old cell phone. No texts please, that might give the thing a techie-stroke.
It kind of makes me wonder about all my hobbies. I understand that knitting is kind of lame, but I like it anyhow (except when it makes me angry, grrrrr). Painting, drawing, printmaking and photography are all pretty cool, but other than snaps of my feet and the cat wiggin out on nip, that seems like too much work these days. We won't even discuss the evils of past exercise!
So, the question is - what new thing should I take up when either this blogging/facebook crap gets old or Mr cuts me off? I should learn a bit more French or Italian. How about some carpentry skills? No, that would all be potentially useful. Well, let me know if you have any ideas. Seriously, my life of luxurious, useless bliss needs some direction. Okay, off to dream of paint drying.
So, all this interconnected computer stuffs is just friggin purrrrrfect fodder for my voodoo. Anyhow, coming across all these fellow dingbats from life's travels is great! Or maybe it's an evil waste? Maybe it's both.
I have to admit to immensely enjoying all the little meaningless tidbits everyone shares. It's like the easiest part of a lifetime of friendships without any of the real work. If someone starts to demand attention or get weird, how quickly and simply they can be excised from daily interaction.
All the time I used to waste on the telly can now be channeled to a whole new meaningless endeavor. We got rid of the tv for this very reason. Maybe Mr will chuck out my computer soon too! In any case, you all can reach me on my 10-yr-old cell phone. No texts please, that might give the thing a techie-stroke.
It kind of makes me wonder about all my hobbies. I understand that knitting is kind of lame, but I like it anyhow (except when it makes me angry, grrrrr). Painting, drawing, printmaking and photography are all pretty cool, but other than snaps of my feet and the cat wiggin out on nip, that seems like too much work these days. We won't even discuss the evils of past exercise!
So, the question is - what new thing should I take up when either this blogging/facebook crap gets old or Mr cuts me off? I should learn a bit more French or Italian. How about some carpentry skills? No, that would all be potentially useful. Well, let me know if you have any ideas. Seriously, my life of luxurious, useless bliss needs some direction. Okay, off to dream of paint drying.
One of us
Oh, new guy at Starbucks, how I love thee.
You are tall, handsome and completely lost. Everyone else around you works together like a well-oiled machine and race thru the lines of customers you have backed up like they're just floating along with the greatest of ease.
I admire your perseverance. Surely, judging from your well-groomed appearance and neat attire, as well as your attention to every last possible dust bit when sweeping, you appreciate order. You sometimes look like this world is all just too much. In spite of this, you have yet to lose it completely and hurl the register out the window, following behind like the guy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
Anyhow, I hope that you hang in there. While I also hope that you get a bit more confidant and it all becomes easier for you, don't ever lose that slightly lost touch. Really, it is very endearing to us other oddball nincompoops.
*A couple of months have gone by and you are actually getting worse. However, you are pretty hot, so that goes a long way with this shallow broad.
You are tall, handsome and completely lost. Everyone else around you works together like a well-oiled machine and race thru the lines of customers you have backed up like they're just floating along with the greatest of ease.
I admire your perseverance. Surely, judging from your well-groomed appearance and neat attire, as well as your attention to every last possible dust bit when sweeping, you appreciate order. You sometimes look like this world is all just too much. In spite of this, you have yet to lose it completely and hurl the register out the window, following behind like the guy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
Anyhow, I hope that you hang in there. While I also hope that you get a bit more confidant and it all becomes easier for you, don't ever lose that slightly lost touch. Really, it is very endearing to us other oddball nincompoops.
*A couple of months have gone by and you are actually getting worse. However, you are pretty hot, so that goes a long way with this shallow broad.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
How come
It is so easy to drink most liquids other than water. I always feel good when I drink water. It never causes me to hurl or have a hangover. It never gives me acid indigestion or fuzzy teeth. Yet the notion of drinking water is akin to the joys of removing a splinter or combing chewing gum out of my hair. Once in the process of drinking water, I actually don't mind it at all. Maybe it's just the pressure of trying to drink multiple glasses of the stuff all day long. Maybe it's a sign that we live in too much luxury. Tea, beer, water, whatever. Bottoms up!
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Oh, and as for cute
We had the annual shearing. Who's next up for a very special haircut? We offer a wide range from hobo-chic to layered-vagabond and everything in between. By the time I've finished, you'll think you've had a fifth of whiskey and peed yourself (indeed, you may well have done so).
Here's a client testimonial:
"With my fresh, new look, I can go anywhere and humans with treats will flock to me out of pity. Now, can someone get me off this God forsaken counter please?"
"I used to spend hours licking my coat, now I can finally concentrate all my energies on licking only my bum and privates!"
Here's a client testimonial:
Babies
No, not us you silly sods. Goslings have arrived and they are friggin cute! It makes me feel like not getting out a shotgun (Rutger Hauer - usually, it's BFF with us). Go ahead, eat all the clover and crap everywhere. Seriously, if you are cute you get a pass today. I am saying that even if lambs showed up, they might be safe. My hormones must be all off.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
New Swimsuit
Mnnn, I bought a new swimsuit for the beach trip today. I look just like the model in it too. No, really. Stop laughing you bastards!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Flashing the neighborhood
You know what's an attractive look? That's right a chubby, middle-aged woman going by on a bicycle with her skirt tucked up into her knickers. Thought I'd give it a whirl since Mr made the effort of taking it in for a tuneup.
Anyhow, sad, sad, sad state of affairs - probably about a mile and my thighs are all stiff. Guess they're not kicking me hard enough at work (although, to be fair, my pinching muscles are all Mr. Universe - don't mess with Texas or Serena).
Um, so guess I should be doing more biking. Although I probably will think it out better next time and dress a bit more appro. You might want to keep your blinds closed just in case. I'm just sayin - can't claim you weren't warned.
Anyhow, sad, sad, sad state of affairs - probably about a mile and my thighs are all stiff. Guess they're not kicking me hard enough at work (although, to be fair, my pinching muscles are all Mr. Universe - don't mess with Texas or Serena).
Um, so guess I should be doing more biking. Although I probably will think it out better next time and dress a bit more appro. You might want to keep your blinds closed just in case. I'm just sayin - can't claim you weren't warned.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Beach-ready
Treaaats!
Utter betrayal
Ick, ick, ick, the wet, get eet offff!
Maybe there's another treat unner all thees stupud sand
Utter betrayal
Ick, ick, ick, the wet, get eet offff!
Maybe there's another treat unner all thees stupud sand
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