Oh, and as for cute

We had the annual shearing. Who's next up for a very special haircut? We offer a wide range from hobo-chic to layered-vagabond and everything in between. By the time I've finished, you'll think you've had a fifth of whiskey and peed yourself (indeed, you may well have done so).
Here's a client testimonial:

"With my fresh, new look, I can go anywhere and  humans with treats will flock to me out of pity. Now, can someone get me off this God forsaken counter please?"

"I used to spend hours licking my coat, now I can finally concentrate all my energies on licking only my bum and privates!"